8dp trigger, 7dpiui#1, 6dpiui#2, 6dpo – what the heck is that pain?!

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so the past three mornings i have been waking up at 4am. wide freaking awake at 4am. .. fun.

my temps are still looking great. highest they have ever been.

i haven’t felt much of anything except boob & nipple pain and bloating. and i’ve have sinus congestion since last night, but that’s been it .. until this morning that is.. since about 6:45ish this morning i have been feeling severely painful waves of sharp stabbing throbbing sensations throughout my pelvic area.. and my belly is pooched out a bit. no ovary pain at all.. just in the center, up and down. i have no idea what this could possibly be. it’s definitely not my ovaries, so it’s not OHSS.. and it’s not bladder/UTI related.. it’s in the wrong place. and it’s too early for implantation. right? what the heck could it be!? i hope it’s not something bad.

i know i haven’t written anything interesting.. i’ve been very hormonally depressed and extremely bitchy to steve. i said to him last night as he hugged me “oh. my. god. i hate you so much right now. i’m really sorry.. but i hate you”.. i feel bad.. he’s done nothing wrong.. he just happens to be there. at least he understands. i’m trying so hard to just get through this time.. working a lot and reading a lot. but it still feels like these days are months. and the negative thoughts keep creeping in.. why me? why would this work for me? i’m not more deserving than someone else. it’s funny because i’ve been wearing an old red sox shirt lately.. it’s from before they won the series in ‘04.. curt schilling’s idea.. it says “why not us?”.. worked for the red sox.. maybe it will work for me. hah. … see what i did right there.. i completely contradicted my own thoughts. this why i should be nowhere near a keyboard.

ouchie pains. why are you so ouchie? where are you coming from? if you are anything related to embryos.. go on, be my guest and continue.. otherwise.. i’d like this pain to stop.

oh and i’m still “pregnant” from my trigger shot.

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